A "treat" day?

Well. I find this interesting. Yesterday, 6 weeks into the year, and weighing in at a stone lost so far - for a combination of reasons I didn't get chance to eat lunch, and it was about 3pm until I was able. However, I'm trying to get early nights at the moment, so I reasoned that if I ate at 3pm (or 3:30 by the time I'd cooked) I would have to leave dinner til after 7pm, which would be a bit late for me. Instead, I thought, I would have to join lunch and dinner together... which meant I had an extra calorie allowance for that one meal. I thought about the weightloss, and about how 'cheat meals' fit into most fitness related eating plans, and... well, my eyes shone with the possibilities! I decided I would get a takeaway, and after a little while of researching calories in things like pizzas or chinese food, I decided I would have battered fish and chips - it's kinda good insofar as a mix of carbs and protein, and also the textures of the chips, and the crispy batter and soft fish, would make it an all-round pleasing meal. So, I carried on working until 5pm, then headed out - with a rumble in my stomach - to the chipshop. (I walked rather than drive, because that's what I do now. lol!)

By the time I got home, I was so looking forward to the meal that I didn't even bother getting a plate out, I unwrapped the food and ate straight from the paper. It tasted delicious... everything I'd expected it to be. :-) Well, for about three minutes. After several mouthfuls, I realised the greasiness of the batter was more noticeable than I'd previously thought. I found myself pulling the white fish out with the fork, and leaving the batter. Unheard of!! The chips were gorgeous, but oh so filling. After a little while, with less than half of the meal eaten, my stomach began to feel uncomfortable. I protested - this was my 'cheat meal', my treat! I kept eating. Two more mouthfuls, and I put my fork down. I was full. This was... a strange sensation. The meals I've been eating the last 6 weeks haven't been tiny, but the portions have been smaller than I used to gorge myself on. I'm not avoiding fat now, by any means, but the fat I choose to eat now are different to before: salmon and mackerel, avocado, extra virgin olive oil, butter, occasionally nuts... The grease that I felt sticking to my lips after I finished eating made my stomach churn. It was already churning - I had eaten past my fill, even though there was still half a meal left uneaten, that normally I would have devoured and looked for more.

I felt awful, physically. My stomach was in quiet knots. Mentally, though, I was skipping through fields of daisies!! I had put my fork down when I had eaten my fill. I ate takeaway food for the first time in 6 weeks, and I picked based on calories and - amusingly - wanting a good mix of carbs and protein. And white fish is a great healthy food! :-) I drank a glass of water, throwing the remains of dinner in the bin, and sometime later went to bed knowing I'd feel better in the morning. Better still, this one evening of 'indulgence' hadn't blown my kcals for the day at all (and I'd had a gym session in the morning and a run at lunchtime) - and I would be back on track even more motivated than before.

I will continue to have 'cheat days' here and there, it will be part of what I do, because it's part of life: it's my birthday next week, so I'm sure I'll have cake for the first time this year, for example!! I also know I can keep portions reasonable, and enjoy what I'm eating. This is how I will stay on track this year - enjoying all sorts of food, and taking pleasure in eating 'well' as well as the occasional indulgences. Onwards and upwards. x x