Work was busy and challenging today, as it will be all week (and beyond), and at lunchtime I went down to the canteen with my kindle to get half an hour away from my desk. I was halfway through eating a big slice of cake before I realised what I was doing. I don't mean that to sound like I purchased my lunch items in some sort of catatonic daze; I knew I'd bought cake, I just didn't THINK about it until I was actually halfway through eating it. I put down the fork and stared at the remnants. I noticed I had a tiny bit of butter icing on the edge of a finger, and absently licked it off, as I wondered when I'm going to stop turning to sugar when I'm feeling on edge and busy?! A few years back I read a lot about mindfulness, and while it makes sense, I often find I "switch off" any conscious decision-making voices when I make hasty choices. There is no obvious moment, sometimes, where I could stop myself and think: do I really want this?
I ate the rest of the cake. I purposely made sure I tasted what I was eating, and I resolved not to beat myself up for eating it. One of the worst things to do when you're trying to lose weight is label foods "good" and "bad". I think my emotions rule my food choices, or rather seem to remove "choice" from my consciousness, and I definitely need to keep working on the root of this. I don't need cake to help me through a difficult day. This whole thing been a bit of a specific challenge this year - I've reached conclusions, and I've made discoveries, and I've hit more brick walls: there has been progress, and there have been times when it's felt I'm wading through treacle in trying to reach my potential. I'm a work in progress, and I will get there, eventually. I absolutely know I will.
I cooked a bolognese this evening, with lean mince, loads of onion and grated carrot, a bit of garlic, some herbs and seasoning, stock, and a tin of tomatoes. I used a non-stick pan, and added no oil, so just the fat in the lean mince, and whatever there is in a stock cube. I ate half of it for dinner, and the other half will go to work with me tomorrow. "Fail to prepare, and you prepare to fail." I don't know who that quote is attributable to, but for me, when it comes to lunch decisions at work, it's spot on. :-)
Making food choices when tired, stressed and in rush has to be the perfect storm for making less than perfect choices. I wonder if a tweak of the routine might help - like taking five minute walk to de-stress and think about other things other than work, before you go and order lunch. Or perhaps writing down what you plan to order for lunch. I'm just throwing out ideas - I really don't know what might help.
ReplyDeleteAn affection for sugar is something you can get over. Julia (my wife) and I changed out diet about year and half ago to one containing less carbs, in particular from sugars and grains and within a few months our cravings for sugary things diminished. Now if things are too sweet we find it unpleasant to eat.
Exactly, it's all about NOTICING I'm thinking poorly, or am tired or stressed etc, and distracting myself with, like you say, a brief walk or something like that. Some days it's easier to notice I'm not in the right frame of mind, other days I just don't think about it, go through the motions and end up eating poorly. Temporarily, I think keeping a food diary might help - actually consciously writing down food I'm eating, will make me more mindful of it. I keep meaning to do it, but something else happens to distract me...
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