11/100 - I'm a believer...?

Gym this morning before work, and I definitely don't do as much when I'm on my own, but I still had a decent session. I'm feeling quite inspired by it all at the moment, and it's making me watch other gym users (not in a creepy way, I promise) to appraise technique (seriously, not in a creepy way...). There was a girl bench pressing this morning when I was at the squat rack, and - you know, I realise this really does sound creepy, but... I really admired her physique, and how she lifted. My own 'physique' is... well, let's say "well padded", to be nice, and I started to think about how I could look if I really properly focussed on my food and training. I need to sort out the food, and keep the training consistent and increasing intensity as I get fitter, and there is no reason why I couldn't have the body, confidence, ability, and fitness levels I want.

That's the thing. I keep saying I want to lose x amount of weight, but I've always found it hard to visualise what I mean by that. Largely speaking, and in it's most simplified terms, my low self esteem 'blocks' me from believing I can be successful, and it's something i have to fight all the time. So actually, today was quite a nice change. That's a reason why keeping this blog challenge going for the 100 days is going to be great for me - I can harness the positive feelings into writing, and make them 'real'. There's no shying away from this, because I have to write something, haha, so why not put down the thoughts in my head, no matter how crazy they sound? So, today, I think I really started to believe I could do this, and I say that not because I had a conscious shift in my 'hey, I'm awesome' type of thinking, but because I could finally start to visualise what it might look like when I get there. I have a stupidly long way to go, but there's no reason I can't get there.