2/100 - Here I am

So, here I am. I very much don't subscribe to the theory of "If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up", because I really like starting over, I like the initial rush, and the focus I get, even if sometimes it only lasts a couple of days. I never feel like there's been a single point I gave up, it just sort of slowly happens over time, so the quick jolt of a fresh start works well for me. The truth is, of course, that that sort of lifestyle would be absolutely fine if I was at a healthy weight, fluctuating up and down a few lbs; but I'm not. I'm technically obese, quite some way from a 'healthy weight', and certainly some way from a healthy percentage of body fat. So, here is where I am:

This picture was taken on Saturday, at the 5km parkrun in Darlington, where I was visiting. It's a parkrun I've never done before, a really nice 3-lap course with friendly faces, and an extremely runnable route. Of course, I've not been running for a long time, and my times have been very poor for over 12 months now - I see me at a fresh start point now. I'd like this official parkrun tshirt to fit me properly (thankfully I wore the vest underneath it, else it wouldn't have been a pretty sight...) and I'd like to see a bit less chest, stomach, thigh, and chin. It's a nice motivational picture - one that doesn't exactly horrify me, but makes me uncomfortable enough to want to see some real change. Clothes aren't fitting me now that fit me okay earlier in the year. The side of the wardrobe with "I'll fit back into these once I lose a little weight" clothes is now bigger than the "these ones fit me now" side. And I know I can do it, I just haven't been. The run, by the way, was very slow - 41 minutes - and kind of indicative of where I am mentally and physically with it all. I need to quickly get back under 40 mins, and then back to the 35 mins I was managed in 2013, and then hopefully improve from there. One step at a time. :-)

Last night after work I headed to the gym. I did a workout with no real structure (I'd forgotten my notebook) but a nice mix of cardio and weights work, then I took my shoes off and hopped on the scales. I weigh myself every day at home, but always naked, first thing in the morning, so I think of myself as weighing "around 14 stone" at the moment - the scales yesterday evening told a slightly different story!!! (You can click on the picture to make it bigger, should you wish!) Regardless of getting into the discussions of target weights, and the 'dangers' of aiming to reach a figure that society/the governement dictates (blah blah blah, I've heard them all before), I clearly have about 4 stone to lose. The body fat percentage needs to come down significantly, too. My plan at the moment is to use this winter to get structure and consistency in my training and eating, and drop a bit of weight as I start to work on my cardio fitness again. Cardio is important, but weight-training is just as vital for me. I need to build muscle (not in an Arnie way, don't worry!), and work on my overall fitness. Plus, I really, really enjoy weight-training!!! And since this post hasn't mentioned the word kettlebell yet, let's just finish with a happy little picture I took last night as I sat on the floor recovered from a few sets of a circuit I'd done which involved deadlifting, swinging the kettlebell, reverse crunches, and plank.