Training the mind

Last week was a bit up-and-downy, but I worked very hard on the mental aspects of my growth this year, and feel quite pleased with how it went in general. I had my double gym session on Tuesday, which went pretty well, then Wednesday night was supposed to be a run after work. For numerous reasons, I wasn't in a great headspace, but I was determined I would get a couple of miles ran at least. However, very soon after starting I was feeling sore hamstrings (from deadlifting on Tuesday), a stitch (from not eating anything for the 5 hours prior to the run, thanks to work issues), a headache (work...), and feelings of stress/anxiety due to having to get to a shop in out-of-town retail centre before it closed that evening, for getting a birthday card/present sent in time. Anyway, as a result, I stopped running after 5 minutes, then ran/walked another 5 minutes, and just called it a day there. I felt it was actually important for me to be able to confidently call off a session without any self-recriminations, should I need to. It was quite interesting to acknowledge there was no feelings of failure related to it, for once. :-)

Thursday was personal training, which went well - and my trainer complimented me on how my form with squats was improving, since I've been working out with Rowan on Tuesday evenings! :-) It was a good session, and managed to take my mind of work stuff... which didn't last long, as the day quickly got away from me after that, with some staff issues and a lot of to-ing and fro-ing that meant I had to buy food on the hoof at lunchtime. I think I made decent choices, regardless, and even enjoyed my first alcoholic drink in ages for a colleague's leaving drinks after work. I had a gin and slimline tonic, really enjoyed it, then headed home early, for a proper meal before bed. :-)

Friday, after a pretty difficult day work, I went to a charity quiz night organised by James and a bunch of his friends, who are all running the Edinburgh marathon this year in aid of Crohn's and Colitis charity. Great cause, and a really fun night as part of 'Team Daftie' with the Moonertys - a very rare night out for me, but a much-needed great way to wind down after a tough week. I didn't get home until well after midnight, though, and the thought to heading back to Glasgow the next morning (in wind and rain) for a parkrun was not exactly the nicest was to accompany the gentle drifting off to sleep!! :-)

Tollcross parkrun, in Glasgow, never gets any easier (it has a LOT of hills...), especially when it's windy, but I was really pleased with my time of 37:14 this weekend. It's over 3 minutes faster than the last time I ran there, 7 weeks ago, and is my fastest time on the course since September 2013. They're a good bunch, there, and it's good to be around people that make me happy, and aren't judgey. A photo caught me grinning while I was running - in all honesty it's because I'd just been snapped just as the frontrunners were lapping me, which momentarily made it look like I was running with the fast boys, haha. :-) Plod plod plod. My top, though it's not terribly clear in this picture, says "I love running - just not while I'm doing it." So true.....

I had planned on going swimming after parkrun, but there was an event on at the pool so it was closed to the public. Instead I went home for some lunch and a bit of housework. As the afternoon drew on, I decided to head out to the gym - and I really surprised myself with a great session in the weights room, totally unplanned, but gratifying stuff all the same. Really pleased I went. After a shower and dinner, I popped out briefly to a friend's surprise 60th birthday party - didn't stay too long at all, but fab to see him, and he had the most amazing Dalek birthday cake!! I made a hasty exit before the cake was cut, lol....

Sunday's plan was long run, though I first allowed myself a lie-in, to catch up on missed sleep. I definitely felt better for it. I finally set off at around 10am, but within 7 or 8 minutes things were not going well - there's one day a month where I get crippling abdominal cramps, and it's nothing to do with exercise! Mother Nature has a curious sense of timing - as one month ago the cramps hit me during a long run too! Anyway, today I hadn't even made it to one mile, and I was almost doubled over in pain - so, I walked home (even walking was difficult), took painkillers, and reassessed what to do with my day. It ended up being a training day regardless - but thoughts/emotions, instead of physical!! Sure, I hadn't planned it to be, but with my mood being on a hormonal rollercoaster, and having had to cut short my second run of the week, with only parkrun going well, I needed to make sure I didn't start beating myself up and getting a bit maudlin, spending the whole day ont he sofa, eating. It's very, very important that I work on this, this year.

So I read some of my book on beating negative thinking and did some of the workbook exercises in it, before having a big clean/declutter in the kitchen. I also looked after myself, with a long shower and exfoliating/moisturising session. I watched some videos on exercises that inspire me, and I did some work analysing my food diary, and giving myself credit for some great decisions food-wise recently. Finally, a bit of quiet meditation. It ended up being a really great day, despite completely not the one I'd planned, and I'm so proud of myself for not letting a failed long run turn into another chance to give myself a hard time, panic about future training, and get mopey.

I've kept today as a rest day, so I should be really ready for my double-gym Tuesday tomorrow. I think it's important I get a run done this week that's longer than 3.11 miles, so that's definitely scheduled, but all in all, it's been an important week from a practising self-compassion and halting negative thinking in its tracks sense, and I think I'm doing okay.