Chatelherault - my first Sunday Social (April 2013)

Yesterday was the social run out at Chatelherault Country Park, a not-quite 5 mile trail run of frequent undulations and one major climb. As I said before, I was getting a bit worked up about it – but I was definitely going. So yesterday morning, after breakfast and a cuppa, I got dressed, programmed my sat nav, and got in the car with a soundtrack of power ballads to build me up on the drive over, haha.

It was fantastic how many people turned up – almost 40. I know a few of them to talk to, and a few others I only knew from chatting online, but everyone was so friendly, and a number of people came up to talk to me beforehand, telling me I’d be fine, or telling me to ‘man the f*ck up’, hahaha!! It was a really supportive group, but I knew I was by far the slowest among them, and even though many were saying they were going to be taking it ‘very easy’ today, I knew that would still be a lot faster than me.

Thankfully, a couple of the girls had said they would run with me, so when we set off, I was with a small group who started at a reasonable pace, and I immediately focussed on my running and breathing, and basically ignored the conversations around me. How do these people feel so relaxed and comfortable running that they can hold conversations?? Ach, I’ll get there one day… :)

At times, the pace felt a wee bit fast for me, but Helen would encourage me to slow it down, and talk to me about part of my posture or form. Like learning new things in the gym, I find it difficult sometimes to think about all the different things at once – head up, shoulder relaxed, arms loose, don’t power your arms here, shorten your pace here, breathe sllloooooowly out, in through the nose – and so on, but I have to trust that one day all of these things will become second nature. Also, as was commented on yesterday, I think too much!!!! She kept reminding me of the story of the Little Engine Who Could... ;)

Every time an upwards incline came, Helen encourage me to shorten my pace to run up it (her “tap tap tap tap tap” commentary strongly reminded me of my swimming teacher’s oft-repeated “kick kick kick kick kick”…!) and I found myself attacking uphills that way, where I’d normally have stopped to walk much earlier. After the first mile, many of the group that had started with me had gone on ahead, and by about 1½ miles, when Davie came back to find us, there wasn’t many of us left. At 2 miles, there’s a steep downhill to the riverbed, with steps, that Davie and Helen excitedly flew down, as I picked my way cautiously downwards. Shortly after, faced with the steep uphill section, I will confess I just kind of panicked. Helen tried to get me to run up, using very short tap-tap-tap steps, but my heart was pounding and my breathing getting a bit wheezy, and I allowed my nerves to get the best of me, as I walked.

[This sneaky elevation chart doesn't remotely demonstrate how undulating it really is, lol... I have no control over the axis levels. Grr! I know how hilly it was, though, haha.]


At the top, it was basically just the three of us left – we ran on, but now my quads were fired up, my hamstrings were reminding me it was only 3 days since a tough straight-leg deadlift session in the gym, and my head was all over the place. Had I been on my own, I absolutely would have given up at this stage (well, probably before), but with Helen and Davie, there was no chance of that!!! We ran, and they got me to focus on my breathing, getting it regulated, and keeping a slow pace. Every time there was an uphill undulation, I tried to run it – one or two of them, I ran the whole wee hill, others I ran for a bit before walking. I was finding it hard, but I wasn’t backing out.

I walked a few more times in the last 1½ miles, but when the signs told us we were about half a mile away from the visitor centre, I focussed on just putting one foot in front of the other and keeping running best I could. The last 200m or so are uphill, but some of the girls had come back down to meet me, and although I absolutely flat-out wanted to walk, I didn’t; I ran to the ‘finish line’, amid scattered applause from some of the other guys still outside of the café.

Distance-wise, I’ve done further. Pace-wise, I most certainly have! Despite that, really this run was a Very Big Deal for me. I ran in sections I would have given up in, I ran up slopes and dealt with controlling my breathing when my anxiety got the better of me. I proved to myself that I can do this. It really, really helps when you surround yourself with people who believe in you, and not just that passive support where people tell you you’ve done really well, etc, but the in-your-face “you are fucking worth this, and I KNOW you can do it, and I’m not leaving you alone until you do” support. I’m honestly starting to believe I am worth it, and can do it.

After the run, in the café over a pot of tea (okay, okay, two pots of tea. …dammit, don’t look at me like that, alright – two pots of tea and a cupcake!!), many of the other runners congratulated me with warm words and genuine respect, and we chatted about things like race plans for the year, like I was an equal. I was very slow, and had walked several times, but I’d completed the same loop they had. Afterwards, in the heady flush of achievement, I wrote online: “I couldn’t be arsed turning up today, so I sent a trail-runner in my place” and one of the guys replied: “a clone trail-runner, well you should be proud of that clone, she done a good job” – and you can’t say fairer than that!