Looking forward

There's only so much looking back and reflecting one can do before it gets overwhelming, and really I need to move on. So, I lost a little under 5 stone in weight in 2010 and 2011? So, I've gained... ummm... we'll go with 'some' of it back in the last 3 months? There's little point beating myself up about what I've done and undone, because ultimately I'm still a healthier person than I was in 2009. *shrugs* And 2008. And 2007. And, well, you get the point. :) I'm no longer morbidly obese, or clinically obese, or whatever the terminology is, but I have to stop myself from continuing to gain weight, before I get there again.

Equally, though, I'm no longer the same person I was in 2010 and 2011 when I was successfully dropping the weight. Life, perspectives, and people around me have been changing over time, and what worked for me back then won't necessarily work for me again. So I need a totally fresh approach, and stop looking back. I also need to treat myself a little better - be kinder and more compassionate to myself, and give myself a pat on the back when it's deserved. Looking forward, I'm excited at what I can achieve when I break down a few more of the mental barriers that hold me back. I've made some tough decisions this week, the first of which is a little scary but perhaps overdue. I'm leaving my personal trainer, and setting out on my own path. I'm going to leave the gym I've been a member of for 4 years, too, and look around for a new option that fits better into my life. There were a couple of reasons I picked a gym miles away from my flat, but my life doesn't fit with travelling across the city so much any more, and I need to look at gyms closer to home. There are a number of factors to consider when looking for a gym to join, and what I needed from a gym in 2010 is not what I will need from a gym in 2014.

I did a short cardio challenge in the gym this morning, with my PT, after we discussed my leaving once this pack of sessions comes to an end. I haven't done any cardio work in the gym for probably a whole year, really, so it was a bit of a shock to the system. In the spirit of not looking backwards, I'm calling this a 'start point', though, as I know I could have done it a LOT better 18 months ago. There is little to be gained by comparing then to now, so here's a new cardio start point, with a challenge that I will hope to see some dramatic improvements in over the coming few months:

• Rower – 500m, 45 secs rest, 500m (level 10) - results: 2:16 then 2:12 (not bad)
• Treadmill – 500m, 45 secs rest, 500m - results: 3:29 then 3:44 (terrible, wasn't recovered from rower, and felt very unfit)
• Bike – 1km, 45 secs rest, 1km (level 5) - results: 2:35, then 2:20 (I've always disliked the stationary bike, but I know I can see improvements here in future).

I can see straight away that I need to come at my fitness with a new focus on cardio work. Improve my speed and power, drop some weight, and endurance will follow from there hopefully. With a reasonably well structured programme - working smarter, rather than harder, you know? But also working harder, lmao. :) I have already got a fair few folk offering to help me train next year, I've surrounded myself by motivating, inspirational people and I think it's paying dividends, as long as I keep my own goals in mind, rather than other people's. It's quite an exciting time to be me, perhaps. *puts the kettle on and settles down with a book* ...some things will never change, though. I can't have you getting worried about me, now can I? x x