I ran the 5km route in bang-on 36 minutes, which is roughly a minute slower than my course PB. I was happy enough with that - I'd walked a wee bit more than I'd have liked, but coming out of a pretty dark week, I felt okay with it. Plus, I hadn't wanted to push myself too much, because I was racing the next day. It was a nice morning, good to see the Moonertys again, and catch up with Ally and Jon and others out at Strathclyde parkrun. I got home feeling a lot better, in general, than I had all week. (The nice drive in my new car had also helped, lol.)
The next morning, Sunday, was a busy day in the racing calendar. Great Scottish Run, Neil McCover Half Marathon, Great Cumbrian Run, and so on... but for me, it was the Strathcarron 10km, across in Denny, Falkirk. I'd no idea what I was signing up for, but I'd looked up the route online and seen a slightly concerning route elevation - uphill for 3km, then kind of gently undulating its way back down again in the remaining 7km... So I decided, take it easy in the first 3km, walk briskly on the hills, and see what I can do. Chatting with some of the Falkirk parkrun regulars before the start, one warned me that the last km is uphill, though you don't really think it to see it, you definitely know it when you're running. I know I heard him tell me that, but I'm not sure what I did with the information, as I don't think I processed it correctly. ;)
There were 327 runners that day, and within about 5 minutes of the start, 320-ish were ahead of me! I ran what I thought was conservatively for the first bit, then slowed to a walk fairly soon on the hills. I marched and ran bits of the next couple of miles, as the people in front of me got further away. It was kinda demoralising, but made worse for the fact it was a warm, muggy kinda day, and I was already dripping!! Towards the top of the hill, a passerby said "keep it going, you're doing great!" which made me smile, and then a minute later a marshal pointed up at one of those traffic calming signs that flash "slow down" when someone drives past too fast - "See if you can set the speed trap off!" he laughed. "Cheeky sod!" I retorted. But at least it got me running again, albeit a bit slow and laboured. Up ahead of me, I saw the nearest person to me crossing a wee junction, and I timed how long it took for me to get to the same place - I was 43 seconds adrift. Then came the downhill, and I stretched out my legs a bit and got moving. I overtook her before the bottom of the hill (approx 500 metres) and slowed a wee bit to kee running as we crossed a busy road. Then I looked up. And it was UP. Another fecking hill. :( I really hadn't paid close attention to those elevation charts, it was a sneaky double-hill. Grrr. I ran a wee bit, but slowed to a walk. Ahead, I spotted two women running together, slowly, and I made a decision that I would catch them, but on the hill, they were getting further away. Then we reached the top, and the rest of the race was a gentle undulation, up and down, more down than up, and I caught up with the girls up ahead of me, passing them then another lady, shortly before the halfway mark.
After this, the water station appeared, and I think my first ever race where water was in a cup rather than a bottle. I walked through the drinks station, because I wasn't sure how to drink from a cup while running, at which point one of the marshals rather pleasantly (but patronisingly) said "that's right, love, you just take five!" - lol!! That got me running again, as I tossed the cup into a well-placed binbag, but the lady behind me had passed me again, and so I focussed my eyes on her back, and tried to catch up. I did, then I slowed again, and over the remaining 4km of the route, I was pretty much done in. My head was screwed, from how tough I'd found the first half and how warm it was, and how big the gaps were between me and the runner in front. There were some points where I couldn't see anyone until I turned a corner, and it was making me think about the Southside Six and what a mental challenge it's going to be. Basically, once that had got into my head, it was game over. I was mentally beaten, and struggled towards the finish line mostly walking with sporadic bursts of running to try and pass someone, or not be passed.
About 300m from the finish, trudging up the road willing it to be over, I spotted Ali up ahead (ah damn, that means I have to start running....) and he ran with me about 100m or so as we got to the corner into the High School. Turning, all the Falkirk parkrun crew cheered out for me, and I grinned as I ran for the finish line. My Garmin said 79 minutes for 10.2km - my official race time was 78:58. It's obviously far removed from my best time, and I was pretty grrrrrr about it and beating myself up a bit, but numerous people have reassured me it's a tough course, and that I did okay, so I'll just use it as a training run and learn a few lessons from it. I think I'll aim to be back next year, and give it a 'proper' go. :) It was a friendly wee race, I came 309th out of 327, and I know I can probably do better with a different mindset in place. I'll be back....!!!So, my mindset was back into the exercise mode, and while taking a post-race-day rest day on Monday, my personal trainer rang and asked if I wanted to shift our session to later that day. I said yeah, why not, so ended up in the gym at 6:15pm on a Monday - aaaaaaargghhhh!!! Gym floors on Monday evenings are one of the most horrendous places. Everyone is post-weekend mode, trying to undo the weekend's excesses, so it's ridiculous busy and hot, and the weights area is a lot more intimidating than usual. Still, I had my trainer with me, and he found a space by the TRX gear, and claimed it as ours. :) We did a pretty tough workout, and although I found it hard going, I was really pleased with how it went - though I'm suffering for it today. Mostly upper body and core work, and my trainer even praised my TRX reverse rows, hehe, which is rare from him. (He tells me well done and suchlike, from time to time, but rarely does he actually look surprised and call me a 'f*cking athlete', hehehehe.)
Early to bed when I got home from the gym, as I'd arranged to meet some guys for an early morning run on Tuesday. And here is why my blog title is rather clever, even if I do say so myself, haha, cos it has a nice wee double meaning rather than just the fact that I've moved out of a dark headspace this week. A more literal meaning. Tuesday was a run through the city in the dark of night - well, the dark of 5am morning, at least! :) Ran with David Ross and Julie Clarke, and 'ultra daftie' newbie Kristen, who is a friend of friends, and I'd not met before. She had recently lined up at the start of the Loch Ness marathon thinking 'at least I'll never have to train for a marathon again', and here she is getting to know people in the Scottish ultra running scene, and considering signing up to a 33 miler early in 2014. :) Gotta love the infectiousness of the daft ultra folk....
We met up at the crazy time of 5:10am at Holyrood park, and set off on a slow run around some of the normally busiest parts of the city, now deserted apart from the occasional drunk, and delivery trucks starting their day. The route took up from Holyrood up to Cowgate and Grassmarket, then up and across to the Meadows, up middle meadow walk to George IV bridge, down the Mound to Princes Street, along to Waverley and Market Street, then up onto the Royal Mile, and back down to the carpark at Holyrood. Absolutely awesome to be out running those streets before 6am, running by streetlights, and although I walked on some of the hills, I generally managed a nice steady pace, completing 4 miles in about 52 minutes. Great company, and a really great way to start the day. The post-run, pre-work shower then breakfast just feels soooo much better. :)
Tonight, to keep on the theme, the plan is to do my first ever head-torch run, on a trail in the dark. Bob doesn't know what level of whinging and complaining he's let himself in for, agreeing to that one........ *evil grin* Plus, I can't straighten my arms out, from the delayed onset muscle soreness from Monday evening's gym session, so I'll be moaning on twice as much as usual, lol.
So, yes, I feel a lot better than I did last week. I don't know how, or when, I'll kick the roller-coaster of emotions I tend to live, but each time I pull myself out of the darkness, I learn a wee bit more about myself, and about how best to do it next time. So. There's that. ;) "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do." (J. Walsh.) x
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