I’ve had so very many things to write about over the past 6 weeks or so, and yet I’ve written nothing.

I think this is because this is a public facing blog, which is what I wanted it to be, but means I find myself double-thinking whether I really want to share all of the things going on in my head. And then by the time I’ve formulated what I feel happier saying, I’m not at my computer, and then subsequently forget.

Anyway, that’s a long-winded way of saying sorry for not writing recently.

My fitness programme has been continuing apace, and I’ve also had a couple of tries at a climbing wall. It went surprisingly well, at first, but quickly became frustrating because I just find it so incredibly tough to fight past the part of my brain that tells me to stop.

I am finding this with running, too. Going to parkrun this year really has the potential to be almost life-changing, if I were the sort of person to throw such clichés around. I’m running more often, still not enjoying it, but I can see progress. Really, really slow progress. My main barrier is my brain – I absolutely know it is (I have yet to work out why); I have yet to manage to run further than 3km without walking, even though when I finish 5km of run/walk intervals I’m nowhere near as tired or spent as I should be. I can tell I have the growing fitness for it. My progress is snail’s pace, which is frustrating, but I am determined to persevere.

I keep reading books about running - I am fascinated by it. By runners. How they think. Why they love running. How they train. How they push themselves. And I find the more runners I meet in real life, the more upset I get that I really don’t enjoy it, and I’m still not very proficient. I find people around me so very inspiring, and yet it’s exactly this that causes me to return to introspection. And eat chocolate.

My food intake has been horrible this past month or so. I don’t even know what to say about that, so I won’t!

Climbing is looking like something that I will definitely incorporate into my life. My next fitness challenge will be swimming… I am so petrified at the thought, but I have to push past this. One day my brain will realise I really mean to persevere with this ‘sport’ malarkey, and will finally step back and allow me to become the person I want to be. And then I’ll be unstoppable.